From good to bad in two paragraphs

Alright. Faith is asleep and we have money in the bank. It is a good day. I've been driving Dustin to work this week. I really like it. It's nice to just be us for a while even if it's a short while.
I miss him a lot and even though he's here with me, sometimes it doesn't seem like it. I took a walk yesterday without telling anyone and he wouldn't have noticed if Trey hadn't missed me. Even then he didn't really care. I even cut the stupid walk short because I felt bad about not telling him where I was going. And he didn't notice!!
I feel like I'm starving for his attention and he's doing something related to dogs. I get that he needs to get ready for the show this weekend and if that was what he has been doing, I would be fine. I'd still miss him, but I would understand, you know? Really, he's my only real friend right now, and I need him. I've somehow drawn into myself and I jealously guard anything to do with Faith. I need him to do SOMETHING.
And now he tells me that he doesn't want me to go to Corpus Christi (?) with him. I have been looking forward to it so much. It was just going to be us and a couple of dogs. I've never been to Corpus. I've never been anywhere and he seems so uninclined to take me anywhere. It was a little easier before Faith and now I feel like a pariah to my own husband. Like he's ashamed of me or something.
There'sa a rational part of my brain telling me that that isn't true. But truth is not what is making a difference in my emotions.
Anyway, I was just feeling sad and needed to get it all out.